You are as happy as you choose to be

You are as happy as you choose to be.

After the recent spate of events, I cannot help but feel emotionally drained. I really wish it didnt turn out this way.

Now with exams looming in the corner, I have lost all motivation. My attention is geared elsewhere but I really don know what else I can do to salvage the situation. Maybe shes right afterall I really got nothing to say or do now. Is it really over? I am really biting my lips as I type this.

You need stop feeling and being like a pussy.

You are as happy as you choose to be. Remember that.

Goodnight, self. Sweet dreams and I hope you have a better day tomorrow.

What should I do now?

Lying in bed thinking about the next step but I really got no courage and determination to carry on.

It was much worse than it was 6 years ago. Back then I didnt feel that I had a future with her. But now everything I have done and prepared for has gone down the drain. It just vanished overnight.

What should I do now? I really want her back so much. But like what she said there is already no point in continuing this.

I should go back to sleep.

I really don know what I am doing now.

I am lost confused frustrated restless.

I am totally not myself.

Help

Why did I wake up?

Please just let me fall back into sleep. Fall back into the imaginary world where I dont need to experience any pain.

All I wanted was just for us to go on a date.

Why did it have to turn out like this?

Overwhelmed

Lost my sense of direction in life.


I remember the last time I felt this huge wave of sadness. Back in JC 6 years ago. Back then, I told myself that would be the last time I experience it.


I just witnessed an accident in front of my eyes. It told me how vulnerable and fragile life is. All the more I should cherish things by my side.




Tonight I sit by the lonely night and stare into deep space, hoping to find a new direction for my life.

Just me and my beer tonight. Drowning my sorrows away.

Hopefully after this I can finally fall asleep. Wish that this was just a bad bad dream.

Are we really meant for each other?